The Spanking Blog

[ Wednesday, July 08, 2015 ]

Making the position part of the punishment during a spanking

I have always stated that I feel that position is a very important part of a punishment spanking.  Previously I have discussed the importance of her properly presenting her bottom, as I feel this really helps her with ownership of her punishment.  Today I am going to dive a little deeper into how much position can really help with the overall effectiveness of the punishment.  For the purposes of this discussion I am not fully addressing which position is best for which implement, but more how to make the position part of the punishment itself.

If you think that all positions are equal, you are doing a great disservice to the person whose behavior requires the punishment.  Our goal as disciplinarians is to provide an event that will not only punish someone for their current behavior, but to serve as a reminder as to future behavior.  I say “event” because for most of us, we are spanking someone who fantasizes about being spanked.  But within this relationship, we are trying to make things as real as possible and actually create a punishment experience.  This is not an experience that we want them to fantasize about, what we really want is for them to learn from it, and hope that we actually have an influence on their behavior.  So we are not just looking to give them the spanking that they fantasize about, but to create a punishment “event” that will burn into their memory.

I have discussed over the years, many different ways to enhance the overall punishment through the use of corner time, nudity, and various other things that help make a punishment as uncomfortable as possible, but today the focus is on positions.  The easiest spanking in the world for someone to endure is one in which they are simply laid over an object, such as a bed or couch, and allowed to just lay there and endure it.  Even worse are the punishments in which disciplinarians hold the naughty girl down for her spanking.  First of all, it is her responsibility to stay in place for her spanking, not ours, so if you have to hold someone down, they are showing complete and total disobedience and that needs to be addressed. Secondly, why allow her to just lie in a comfortable position for a spanking that she fantasizes about anyway?  To be as blunt as possible, the position should suck for her.  Ask yourself if you are doing the best job possible if she is allowed to be comfortable for her spanking.  Jail sucks, so do the beds in the cells…you do not go to jail and find a tempurpedic mattress in your cell.  They committed their crime, a punishment was handed down, and at no point does comfort become a factor.

I have talked about nudity before, but it is worth talking about again for the purposes of this post.  When someone requires a proper punishment, one that is worthy of being an “event”, you can count on the clothes coming off.  The first purpose this serves is that it reinforces my authority over her.  When she is in trouble, I am not just sentencing her to a spanking, but for the duration of the punishment I am assuming full control over her body.  She has trusted me with the authority, that when she misbehaves, that I will do everything in my power to punish her in a manner that will prevent that behavior in the future.  With that trust and authority, as long as it is safe, sane, and consensual, her body becomes mine to what I want with, for the benefit of the punishment.  She does not get to decide what she wears for her spanking that is now my decision.  Because I care, and I will do whatever it takes to help her, I will choose for her to be naked.

A fully nude punishment adds quite a bit to the overall experience and will help her remember it in the future.  Yes, there are many women out there who are quite comfortable naked.  There are many models that work for me that choose not to put any clothing on in between shoots and just hang out naked as we move lights around and such.  But being comfortable naked, and being comfortable naked in the various positions I have to choose from are two very different things.  But for the typical woman, even one that you are intimate with, being naked in the bedroom and being naked and on display for her spanking are two very different things.  I require her to be naked because I am going to put her in a positon for her spanking that will make her feel embarrassed, vulnerable, and exposed.  Please note there is a strong distinction between embarrassed and humiliated.  I never humiliate someone during a spanking, but if I can make her feel embarrassed, as a result of her behavior, then I will do my best to do so.

Something else that I think is of great importance when it comes to positioning is complete and total discomfort.  She might fantasize about being spanked, but she does not fantasize about being put in a position for her spanking that is a workout in itself to hold.  By bringing in different muscle groups, we can make the position itself a punishment.  Have you ever tried to hold a lunge for very long?  With her hands and feet on the ground and her ass in the air, this position becomes very hard to maintain and is no fun at all.  A assure you that when she masturbates to thought of being spanked, she never once thought about how sore her abs were going to be.

So let’s go into detail about how we can make the position itself part of the punishment.  The first, and most common, is to simply make it a freestanding position.  She is not getting the benefit of being able to lay over something, or even put her hands on something.  This may involve her bending over and putting her hands on her knees, or even grabbing her ankles, but she assumes full responsibility for the position, without anything to support her.  This makes it more difficult to maintain her position during the spanking (which she already should know is a requirement) and also makes her an active participant.  She cannot just check out, let her endorphins kick in, and endure the punishment, she actually has to help.  It keeps her mind on the process and does not allow her to escape into some sort of “sub space”.  She has to stay mentally present in order to stay in position and that is exactly what we want.

Any position can easily be modified to become less comfortable.  Even for the young lady with the benefit of being bent over with her hands on a table, by requiring her to stand on her tiptoes, we have once again brought her mind back to the punishment.  She has an actual task that she must perform while she is being spanked, and as easy as it sounds, her being on her tiptoes adds quite a bit.  At the very least, it tends to start to burn the calves pretty quickly and that in itself adds to the overall discomfort of the punishment.  But if she is being paddled hard, and with each swat she is rocked forward, typically a process that ends with someone back on their heels.  But in this case, she does not have that luxury and she has to remain ultra-focused to make sure her heels do not touch the ground.  Once again, we are bringing her mental focus into play and she cannot just try to suffer through her punishment as she has a job to perform during her punishment.

Many young ladies like a good over the knee spanking, as it tends to be intimate and is not all that uncomfortable.  Just as with the tiptoes, this position can also be easily modified to make her part of the overall process.  For most OTK spankings, the person being punished has their toes touching the ground.  This can often get in the way as it allows them to push forward, which can allow them to easily start to struggle out of position.  In my private life, all otk spankings are given in which the young ladies are required to have the tops of their feet on the ground.  This takes away their ability to push, but more importantly, it is unnatural and requires thought to keep them in that position.  If she finds herself kicking her legs during her spanking, the normal movement would be for her to go back to having the bottom of her foot on the ground.  But this is not allowed, this is not what I require, so she has to stay mentally present to make sure her feet do exactly as I have told her.

Another modification, and one that I use a lot, is to bring elbows and knees into play.  Take any spanking position in which a young lady is supporting herself with her hands, and simply make her elbows go there instead.  If she is bending over, with her hands on a desk to be paddled, make her elbows touch the hard surface with her hands in the air.  This takes away any leverage that she has, so when she is knocked a little off balance from a paddle swat, she cannot just fight the momentum by pushing back with her hands and arms.  With the arm bent, and being on her elbow, all of her leverage has been taken away.  Now her whole body and core become involved in order for her to maintain her position.  Now it is not just her bottom and her brain that are part of the process, her whole body has to work to assist in her discipline.  It is easy to take this a step further and have her place her knees on a hard surface, while her feet are required to be elevated.

Discomfort can be taken to many different levels when it comes to position, far beyond the easy fixes that I just described.  The easiest way to accomplish this is to bring different muscles into play.  As discussed before, a spanking in the lunge position is not an easy thing to endure.  Now her arms, legs, and core have become part of the punishment and fatigue easily sets in.  You can also modify any position by requiring that her arms or her legs be a little bent and not straight.  When we lock our legs out straight it becomes more of support from the joints that support from the muscles.  But when the arms or legs that are supporting us are required to be bent, the muscles have to become part of the process.  Yes, a hard spanking while grabbing her ankles is no walk in the park, but if she is required to bend her knees just the slightest bit, over the duration of her five minute strapping, this all becomes that much more difficult.  Remember, difficult is the very least of what we are looking for.

Ideally, we are going to take all of the above factors and combine them effectively with nudity.  I am not only going to choose a position that is hard to maintain, that requires her to assist, and that is going to bring various muscle groups into play, I am going to make it terribly exposing and embarrassing.  I want to put her fully naked in a position that she would never in her lifetime find herself in.  I am talking about something that exposes all of her naughty bits to the world in a way that she never could have imagined.  I want her to be embarrassed that her behavior brought her to such an exposed and vulnerable position.  I want her to be concerned and embarrassed about how everything between her legs is currently being presented.  I want her to her to fully realize, that at the moment, how and where I choose to present her most private of areas, is fully up to me.  It was her behavior that brought us here, but the rest of this is in my hands.

The spreading of her legs is always going to be the starting point in this type of position.  If the situation calls for it, she is not just going to be presenting her bottom to be spanked, I am going to make sure everything is presented in a very exposed manner.  There is huge sense of vulnerability, when she is bent over for a spanking and her vagina is completely exposed.  She should know by now that I am very accurate with whatever implement I am using, but this still adds a lot, as any stroke that is off just a little bit could indeed hit her vagina.  In addition, and with the hopes of not being too graphic, most women are not all that comfortable in a position in which their butthole is exposed.  However, had she not misbehaved, she would not be before me at this very moment, with her legs spread so wide, that everything is now very exposed.  Even before the first stroke I want her uncomfortable as possible, so if exposing her vagina and butthole helps, then I will include it every time.  Having her spread this wide also allows me (assuming my hand or a very specific implement) access to areas of her bottom that I might not otherwise be able to spank.

This exposure can be greatly enhanced by how far she is required to bend.  Someone presenting their bottoms with wide spread legs, but only bent at 90 degrees at the waist, is still limited in their exposure.  We need to get their hands closer to the ground to really open things up.  This is why you will often see videos I have filmed in which the young lady if kneeling on something such as an ottoman, but her hands are on the ground.  To further enhance the vulnerability of these types of positions, I often require that she arch her back as much as possible.  With spread legs, a greater than 90 degree bend, and an arched back, she is feeling as exposed as she possibly can be.  Hopefully she is embarrassed, hopefully she is miserable, and hopefully she will never want to find herself in this position ever again.

None of this is all that hard if you are willing to just be a little creative.  Maybe she only requires a handspanking today, but it is still our job to do the very best each and every time it is required.  Instead of bending her over that kitchen chair for her handspanking, why not have her straddle that chair leaving her just a little more exposed? 

Maybe she needs a little session in which she is required to lay down on the bed for a long strapping.  Why just lay her down on the bed and get the belt out?  Require her to fully undress before you as you go through your selection of belts deciding which one will hurt the most.  Then lay a few pillows down on the bed, so her ass is nice and high in the air.  But don’t stop there, now it is time for her to spread her legs as wide as she can get them.  We just took a comfortable and effective spanking position and made it embarrassing and exposed.

What about those times in which you take her into your home office and bend her over the desk for a little school type discipline?  Is it really best for her development that you just have her barely bare her bottom and bend over the desk?  We want this to be a punishment that is remembered, not one that just blends in with all of the other spankings she has received.  She needs to get naked and she needs to do it now.  I am putting her completely up on the desk, on all fours, but there will be no hands involved, she will be balancing on her elbows.  Her legs are going to wide enough that her vagina is open and on display for the world to see.  And I am not going to start right away, I am going to let the full physical discomfort and mental embarrassment sink in for a good long time before I ever get started.  If she does not like it…good, then maybe she will get her act together.

It does not have to end there; I will make it as uncomfortable and embarrassing as I possibly can.  What is more embarrassing and uncomfortable than being fully naked, bent completely over, with her legs spread, her back arched, and her legs a little bent…doing so while elevated.  If she thinks that feels vulnerable, then she can assume that same position while standing on a chair.  Now all of her naughty bits that she is embarrassed to have exposed are now at eye level for me.

When we begin to get complacent as disciplinarians then the behavior eventually wins.  When we are simply spanking her when she is in trouble, we are only feeding her fantasies and the behavior just gets worse.  You owe it to that special person, the one you have made this commitment with, to do your very best, with each and every offense and behavior that is presented to you.  You are doing her a disservice by not making each and every punishment as bad as you can make it.  Most people just spank harder, but we need to be better than that.  Yes, it might be football night, or you were about to head out the door for a few drinks with some buddies, but you have to stay committed to providing the discipline that is required, when it is required.  She needs to be naked, uncomfortable, embarrassed, exposed, in a physically demanding position, and generally hating every single part of her punishment, if not, then her behavior is now your fault.

All pictures come from punishment videos in the member’s area of RealspankingsInstitute.com

[ Monday, July 06, 2015 ]

Tears 2015- Part 1

Our latest PPV- Available now HERE

The purpose of corporal punishment is to provide enough pain to a young lady’s bottom to teach her a very real and a very proper lesson. The best indicator that a lesson is learned is TEARS. It is not until she is crying like a little girl that we know that the job is done. In this 84 minute video, you will corporal punishment administered as it was intended leaving each and every girl crying. WARNING- this is very real corporal punishment, these are not fun and playful spankings. 

[ Thursday, July 02, 2015 ]

Spanking Story

Many years ago, I am guessing about a decade, on my forum a woman requested that I write a story for her, one based on the fact that she was a military wife who had always dreamed about being in a domestic discipline relationship.  As far as I can recall, this was my first real attempt at spanking fiction.  You will see the same themes that have always held true to me in all of my writings.  I came across this story again recently and thought I would share it with you all.

While she had never admitted it to him, after a few years of hints he began to get the idea that his wife had a desire to be spanked. On more than one occasion, she teased him during an argument with, “what are you going to do, spank me?”. The whole concept was pretty new to him, but when he could find the time, he explored a little on the web to better understand her kink. Just as with his military career, he took on all things with vigor and enthusiasm. He just wasn’t one to approach things half-assed and he wanted to fully understand what it was his wife desired, before he ever tried to attempt spanking her.

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[ Wednesday, July 01, 2015 ]

Spank-O-Matic

Spanking machines have come a long way, and there is no doubt that the Spank-O-Matic is leading the charge.  I recently had a couple of naughty girls before me that needed a little work done on their bottoms.  I simply got behind my laptop and took care of things with my mouse.  For those that think that these machines cannot spank hard enough, look below and think again.

[ Tuesday, June 30, 2015 ]

Domestic Discipline and cooperation during her punishment

The other day I was in a discussion in a domestic discipline chat room, in which a few young ladies were discussing, that based on what they have seen from my videos, that there is no way that they could stay still for their punishment.  I tried to explain that I can be very convincing and that they would indeed hold still for the duration of any punishment with me, at least after the first time they could not hold still.

I feel, especially in the context of a domestic discipline relationship, that it is the responsibility of the person being punished to hold still at all times.  Any wiggling or getting out of position only makes the job of the person applying the discipline that much harder.  If my eyes this is completely unacceptable and will not be tolerated for even a second.  In a DD relationship, I have made the commitment to you, to your life, to help you in so very many ways.  I am fully committed to helping you grow as a person, to assist you in the areas that you find difficult or struggle with, and to help you achieve the goals you have set for yourself.  Within the relationship we have put forth some structure, some mutually agreed upon rules, and guidelines that we both feel are best for you as a person.  Within this agreement, we have made the decision that there will be consequences for certain behaviors and actions that you engage in.

For most couples that live an active DD relationship, one of the primary consequences is corporal punishment.  So within this relationship, based on everything I just wrote, a spanking is taking place because it has been earned.  I am not spanking you because I am in a bad mood.  I am not spanking you because I think it would be fun and kinky and would be nice foreplay.  I am spanking you as a direct result of your behavior or actions, ones that we have both agreed that are not best for your overall development and who you really want to be. It is all purely cause and effect and has nothing to do with what I want at the given moment.

So now we are talking about YOUR punishment.  It is something you have earned; it is 100% yours and you need to take full ownership of it.  I am willing to take the time out of my day, at any given moment, to give you the correction that is required.  If this correction involves a spanking, you need to own that as well. You are being spanked because at some point in our relationship we agreed that this is a good punishment for you and serves as a good deterrent in stopping the behaviors that you want to change.  As cliché as it may sound, this is being done for your own good.  To make sure that we get the very most out of each and every spanking, I will require your help.

If your behavior actually warrants a spanking, then I need it to be something that you would not want repeated.  I cannot go easy, I cannot provide some type of warm-up, I need to apply each and every smack to your bottom with the goal of teaching you a very real lesson.  I know it is not going to be easy for you; in fact, it is going to be extremely difficult to endure.  But what are we really trying to accomplish?  We are trying to provide a very painful stimulus, to punish you for what you did, and to prevent you from doing it again.  You are a grown woman, no longer a child, so it is going to have to be a pretty intense experience for learning to actually take place.  When it is over, all will be forgiven, but we both know the best learning takes place if we leave your bottom sore for a couple of days.

So you need to be an active part of this process.  I am going to put you in the position that I feel will be best for the implement that I am using.  By best, I mean the position that is going to allow me to apply the appropriate amount of pain to your bottom.  Your job, being that this is YOUR punishment, not mine, is to maintain that position for the duration of your spanking.  I want to hit exactly where I am aiming, and your moving around makes that more difficult.  Also, depending on the implement that I have chosen to punish you with, too much movement can be dangerous. If I am trying to bruise the “sit spot” on your bottom with a hairbrush, and you keep moving, I may hit somewhere I am not trying to.  But it goes well beyond safety issues.  What we are trying to achieve are results, and your constant moving around only interferes with the process.  We want maximum pain, and maximum soreness, applied as effectively as possible and your cooperation allows for us to get the best results.

So to address the women I was chatting with, who said they would not be able to hold still, I would like to suggest that maybe the men that are applying the punishment have not figured out the proper solution to the problem.  I have found many techniques over the years that tend to be very effective in solving this problem.  The first, is always my go to (assuming I am using an implement in which this is an option) and that is the addition of the thighs during the spanking.  If you are squirming around like crazy as a result of the pain you are experiencing, I will simply and quickly show you how much worse it can be.  A quick dozen to the backs of your legs with my hand or a leather implement, offers instant perspective.  I will calmly and politely inform you of why I just spanked your thighs, and go back to the punishment.  Each time that you move out of place, you will get another dozen on the backs of your thighs.  You will learn very quickly that as much as the spanking is hurting your bottom, it is far better target than your thighs.

While spanking the thighs is quite effective, it does not always solve our little problem and sometimes other methods must be employed.  While this one does not solve things immediately, it tends to over time.  If you cannot hold still during your handspanking, then you get the belt.  If you cannot hold still for your strapping, then it becomes a paddling.  If you cannot hold still for your paddling, you will become acquainted with my heavy wooden hairbrush.  No, when I upgraded implements you did not hold still any better, but the next time you are getting spanked with my hand, there is a good chance that you will remember what happened and you will give a concentrated effort to assist me for the duration of your spanking this time.

The next method is that the spanking simply does not end until I feel you are part of the solution and no longer part of the problem.  I care enough about you that I willing to put in whatever time is required to achieve the desired results.  But part of the desired results is you realizing that we are doing this for you, therefore realizing that you need to help me get it done.  If a two minute handspanking needs to become a ten minute handspanking, as a result of you not stopping the wiggling until the last two minutes, then so be it.  I am fully committed to helping you in any way required, so I will expend the extra energy in order for your future spanking to be more efficient and effective.

The final method, which is similar to the previous one, is to repeat the spanking at a designated interval, until you take full ownership and assist me as you should have the first time.  I tend to wait at least a couple hours, as I want your bottom to have cooled down.  A second spanking right away is always easier than the first as your bottom is warmed up and your endorphins are flowing.  I need the repeat spanking to be on a cooled down bottom and for it to feel like it did the first time.  So, since you were unable to assist me during your last spanking, three hours from now I am going to repeat the exact same punishment, still targeted at the original transgression.  I need you to understand that WE are doing this for YOU, and part of this process is you holding still so I can blister your bottom in the exact manner required.  I understand that it hurts; I understand that it is very hard to hold still, but you will indeed learn to help me.  We may not get the exact results that we are looking for three hours from now, but that is OK, don’t feel bad, we will try again three hours later, then three hours later, and then again three hours later.  If our goals were not achieved today, once again please don’t feel bad, we will start again in the morning.

[ Wednesday, June 24, 2015 ]

A Domestic Discipline Society

I have been spending some time recently with the good folks over at A Domestic Discipline Society and am really enjoying the company.  While at first glance, the page is a little busy, once you learn your way around, there is a wealth of good information for anyone that is considering the DD lifestyle.  There are tons of articles for the potential HoH and TiH people out there.  I rarely promote other sites here, but I like to point you all to sites worthy of a look.

[ Monday, June 01, 2015 ]

Implements, severity, and a lesson learned

So with the disclaimer that I am writing about consensual adult spanking, for someone who has actually earned the spanking, let’s talk a little bit about implements and what is required to get the job done.  There will never be a case in which I give a real life spanking in which someone is not taught a lesson.  Yes, there are varying levels of severity, clearly defined by an individual’s behavior, but I am just not one to take the time to spank if it is not going to serve as a real deterrent for behavior.  Basically, either the behavior requires a spanking or it does not, I see no in between.  There is no, “Well...you were only a little naughty, so I will be spanking you, but it will not be that bad”.  If it does not need to be “that bad” then a spanking is probably not required.  That situation might call for a warning, loss of privileges, or something else, but if I need to spank you, it will be “that bad”.

Now obviously, not all spankings are created equal, and there can be a spanking that seems much gentler on the scale, but still teaches a lesson.  Texting while I am trying to have a conversation with you at dinner, and driving drunk are not the same offense, however, each one clearly requires a spanking.  I adjust the severity of my spankings in two ways, implement selection and duration.  Yes, there are other adjustments than can be made such as state of dress, position, time out, etc., but when we are talking about the actual pain of a spanking, implement selection and duration are the primary factors to consider.  I tend to give almost all spankings at about 85% of what I am capable of.  This is enough force to make it unbearable from the very beginning, but always leaves me with a little reserve for situations in which the naughty young lady is not holding still or following directions. Under all circumstances she needs to know that it can indeed get worse.  What this means, that regardless of whether it is my hand or a heavy wooden hairbrush, I am going pretty close to full force. It would be silly to decide that a certain behavior requires a hairbrush to be used, and then apply it at 30%.  I need the person to know, even before we start, based on implement selection alone, exactly how I feel about their behavior.  There can be no thought process like “well he chose the brush, maybe it won’t be that bad”.  She needs to see that brush and know instantly that this is indeed VERY bad, and know exactly what she is in for.

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[ Thursday, May 21, 2015 ]

Spanking, Severity, and Real Life

I received a recent email that basically said that I was a douchebag that simply got off on beating defenseless women to tears.  His point was that I was ruining the spanking scene for many people out there as it is hard to get someone to want to be spanked, after they have seen any of my videos.  It is in his opinion, the severity of my videos is quite simply turning off potential women for him to spank. I thought I would run with this idea and further discuss my feelings on spanking and severity.

I fully understand that for many people, spanking is a fun and sexy little game that they like to play with someone close to them, and in a very sexual manner.  I get it, I understand, but there is no part of that which really turns me on.  I guess that is not fully true, as I am a man (an ass man at that), and any sort of access to a woman’s lovely bottom will always be exciting for me.  But fun, playful, pitty pat little spankings fall into the same category as rubbing, touching, and squeezing a lovely bottom.  But none of this plays at all into my fetish.

I have spent many years not only coming to grips with my fetish, but often trying to put this fetish into words for others to read.  It is difficult at best to try and explain all of the little dynamics that make spanking exciting to me, and I often fail miserably trying to put it into words.  To touch on the point the gentleman that wrote me was trying to say, for me it is not always about severity, it is about reality.  It is about the root of spanking, why it exists, and corporal punishment at its core.  When I was in elementary school and realized what a powerful effect spanking had on me, it had nothing to do with fun and playful spankings between consenting partners as a precursor to a sexual act.  It had everything to do with how I felt when I realized the cute little girl next door would get her bottom spanked with a wooden spoon when she was naughty.

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[ Tuesday, May 19, 2015 ]

New Model Bobbi

We just shot a new model for both Realspankings and RealSpankingsInstitute.  Her name is Bobbi and I think you all are going to like her.  Here is a preview:

[ Friday, April 24, 2015 ]

Naked, Embarrassed, and Exposed Part 2

Here is the trailer for the second part of our new PPV movie. Available at Spanking Library.

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