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Further details about my various blog entries

I am finding that some of my blog entries are a little misunderstood at time.  I am used to writing for the World Spanking Forum in which most of the people there are members of my various websites.  They know enough about me that I do not generally have to qualify any of my statements.  I have read comments on other blogs, as well as e-mails sent to me, that demonstrate to me that some people have no idea where I am coming from with my writings.  I thought I would take a minute to help clarify a few things.

First, when it comes to my descriptions of punishing young ladies, there are several situations I am talking about.  For many years, I ran a discipline program for young ladies to help them deal with real infractions in their lives.  In many cases they were being punished for things they got away with when they were younger, in others, it was an attempt to help them set and fulfill personal goals.  In each of these cases, this was a woman traveling to my location for one specific purpose, to receive a very real and very painful spanking.  Limits were discussed ahead of time, and in most cases, how they were to be punished was agreed upon by both of us in advance.  These discipline session were all about being punished and were not erotic in any way.  Not to say that these spanking were not fulfilling their fantasies, most traveled from different states to realize this dream.  Some of my descriptions of spanking I have administered for discipline might come across as cold, distant, and uncaring.  I assure you that the dynamics of their punishment session were exactly what they were looking for.  I found that there are many women who want to be held accountable for their actions and are seeking strict discipline administered from someone who knows what they are doing.  They were not looking for a relationship, nor the sexual overtones that often accompany a meeting such as this.  They simply wanted real discipline for real infractions without any role playing. 

Another situation that I am referring to when talking about disciplinary spankings, is when I work with models that are into the scene.  While not common, we do get models that are into being spanked.  These girls are looking for more than just a paycheck; they are looking to explore thoughts and ideas that previously only existed in their fantasies.  I take these scenes to different level and try to help them find what they are looking for.  They often find themselves in scenes that are a lot stricter than the typical scene we shoot.  These models have less control over their scenes and there is a much more real sense of them being in trouble.  We also shoot a lot of “real disciplineâ€? scenes with several models.  These are scenes in which a girl confesses something that she has done that she really feels she needs to be punished for.  There is nothing fake about any aspects of this scene and the discipline is very real and almost always leads to tears.  While done on camera, and for a website, I handle these scenes exactly how I did with my discipline program.

The final situation is that of the discipline that takes place in my personal relationship.  You must first understand that I have ended up in a situation in which, what is generally a very private thing (being my fetish and sexuality) has become a very public one.  Most people hide their spanking fetish from the world for their entire life, mine is out there for everyone to see.  There are often times that I am making references to my private life, but do not specifically say so.  This is due to the fact that there must be some things that are kept private.  I am afraid while you might get small references, I will never get all that specific about what happens in my home.

A lot of my writings come across as cold and distant with little thought for the feelings of those being punished.  I assure you this could not be farther from the case.  I put a lot of time, effort, and care into really getting into the head of those that I punish.  Their feelings are my number one concern and I am never working off of my own agenda.  My goal is to help them find exactly what they are looking for.  You would be surprised at how many women are actually looking for a real punishment spanking in which they are taken well beyond their comfort zone.  They want to feel like they are really in trouble and not feel like they are doing a “sceneâ€?.  They want to give up control and feel accountable for their actions.  While done in a caring and non-abusive manner, I provide strict discipline and that is clear before we ever get started.  I have yet to punish a woman for real offenses in which she was not the one to initiate the relationship.  When I write, I tend to focus on the physical aspects of the punishments and not the emotional.  I assure you that great thought and care is put into the emotional dynamics of the spankings I administer, but this is generally not what people are looking to read about.

Comments:

I'm not sure what feedback you are getting, so I can only speak for myself. For me, part of the disconnect has to do with the genre of the blog. The blog itself is generally a personal and diary-like medium; even political blogs are based on the passionate feelings of the writer, and those passions shine through the comments and selection of material on the blog.

Spankboss on Spanking Blog, for example, references his partner Bethie from time to time. He does it in fairly general terms; I might work in the cube next to Bethie and I wouldn't know it. But it gives his readers a full sense of who he is, as well as a personal connection to him. This is a medium that implies at least a little personal connection. When that personal connection is missing--"There are often times that I am making references to my private life, but do not specifically say so. This is due to the fact that there must be some things that are kept private"--it makes me (and I can only speak for myself) feel as if this is just another corporate mouthpiece for your business, not a blog as I know and enjoy blogs to be. It makes this seem more like a "The Making Of..." extra on a DVD, rather than a blog.

I know plenty of companies have blogs, however, so perhaps you are trying to channel that vibe rather than a personal blog vibe? I don't read corporate blogs, so I'm not sure what they are like. For me, it just feels like the blog has a slighty superior tone because the writer feels as if he's keeping himself distanced from his readers while mimicking blogs (Spanking Blog, Spanking Art, and Over Her Knee being three of my favorite) that allow access to the writer as a person. Like Julie, I, too am experiencing this blog in a less than positive way. You refer to your readers as not being interested in the emotional aspects of the discipline. That may be true of some of the readers and if you continue to write as you have, it will be. Those of us who are interested in the feelings and emotions of both the spanker and spankee will just find ourselves not coming back. I, for one, have always been interested in what the spanker is feeling and experiencing both before and during the process. Most of what makes the human race so fascinating is that the exact same thing can happen to two different people and the experience is totally different for each because of what goes on inside. That is far more interesting than the amount of bruising that a particular stroke is able to give. That's what keeps me coming back to specific blogs.

I do appreciate the quality of your writing. I agree with both of the above. I'd like to hear more about the emotional aspects of this. Julie and Sasha,

I truly appreciate the input; it provides me with insight as to the thoughts of those who frequent blogs such as mine. I would like to address a few of the things you have said.

Clearly, some of the personal elements are missing from what I write. You need to fully understand part of my reasoning when doing this. My wife and I have always enjoyed the sensual exchange of power, and to a certain degree, it defines a very large part of our sexuality. We never set out to start a large company based on spanking, it was something we did to try and help pay for four years of graduate school. We always thought it would be temporary, but it took off in such a big way, that we felt we had to pursue it. As a result, we took a very important and very private aspect of our sexuality and shared it with the world. It also became something that we did as work instead of fun. Take anything you really love, make it a full-time job, and it loses a lot of its appeal. In order to restore some of what we really enjoy about the fetish, we needed to take away the public element and once again make it something we do for ourselves and not the benefits of others.

To get more detailed and personal would be letting people further into an aspect of our life that we have already shared so much of. We are not nameless and faceless people like most blog authors. We have become very public with what we do and are recognized in public. We do not have the benefit of being in a situation in which you would not even know it if we were working in the cubicle next to you, we get comments about what we do in line at Starbucks. It is much easier to share your deepest and darkest sexual emotions when done so with complete anonymity.

Yes, there is a bit of a corporate feel to my writings. I honestly felt that this would be something that would appeal to some people. I am in the unique situation of having experienced spanking on many different levels. It takes place in my private life, I have disciplined many women at their request, and I produce spanking videos. The people on the World Spanking Forum always seem quite intrigued as to what really takes place behind the scenes of a spanking production. I felt this might be a good place to offer additional insight as to what goes on. I have tried to give people a little better sense as to who these women are, besides just a naked body that gets spanked. There is no doubt that one of the main focuses of this blog is my personal feelings and insights in regards to the spanking industry. This is what I am comfortable sharing at this point in time. But, I have looked beyond just these things and have spoken very frankly about what my personal feelings are towards the fetish in general. Over time, I am sure that I will continue to share things on a more personal level.

I find the comparisons to other blogs quite interesting, especially the thought that I am mimicking them. One thing I see that it very common on many blogs is to simply point to posts on other blogs. I may have to go deeper into Spank Boss' blog, to see what you are really talking about. I rarely see his thoughts on much of anything; I see links to other people's thoughts. Don't get me wrong, I like his blog, but I feel that I spend a great deal of time and effort on everything I write and do not rely on the writings of others in order to make sure there is a daily post. While I may spend a great deal of time focusing on the spanking industry, I do not think I am preventing people from getting to know me on a personal level. If I am mimicking other spanking blogs, why are you so clearly pointing out how different mine is?

continued below... ...continuation from above comment

Something that I am beginning to learn, and that you have helped me with, is the fact that a lot of blog readers are women. The majority of my customers are men and I think I have learned over the years how to appeal to their tastes, and not necessarily that of women. To date, the majority of what I have done is provide visual content to paying members. Providing something for free without the benefit of photos and videos, is clearly a different world. You will have to be patient with me while I refine my skills through a completely different medium than I am used to. I am used to trying to provide things that are designed to physically stimulate and that do not go too deep on an emotional level. I am not a writer, nor do I have any previous background as a writer. I think I generally focus on trying to write things that provide a visual image and not an emotional element. I think that I will be able to find a good balance without getting too deep into my personal relationship.

I appreciate both of you taking the time to tell me what you would find more appealing. I am not a robot and I do work on a deep emotional level, but the concept of digging that deep and sharing is just a bit foreign to me. I would appreciate both of you checking back in on occasion and letting me know if you see a blog entry that you find a bit more to your liking. With feedback like you have provided, I am confident that I will be able to adjust my writings to appeal to people on levels different than those I am used to. It will challenge me as a "writer" and I suspect it will further facilitate my ability to communicate through the written word. Thanks. Thank you for your thoughts on this, Michael. I think you are onto something with the idea that the audience for your videos versus the audience for your blog might be quite different, and I can imagine that trying to shift gears to please them both could cause some vertigo.

It sounds as if you are a little burned out on how public your personal life has become; perhaps a blog isn't the best forum for you right now, as blogs seem to imply a certain degree of intimacy with the reader?

Finally, and I'm saying this with a teasing voice, it's hard to accept your argument that you aren't mimicking at least one other blog...being that the only difference between you and another blog is the word "the." How typical of women to criticize what is clearly this guy's personal expression, how he chooses to blog, as not being personal and emotional enough.

Seriously, Uhm..
I like the blog.
I like the "dvd extra" commentary, and I like the informative articles.
I also like the personal accounts of events and memories that were, if not instrumental, then at least important in the formation of this interest in the blogger. They mirror how I talked to a female friend in high school (yup, in Texas) about her spankings.

I remember the early stuff at realspankings, and though thinking about the exhibitionistic aspect of what y'all were doing really appealed to me, (plus his wife was good-looking)I can completely understand not wanting to get too personal anymore.

It probably was not the original intention in starting this blog, but I also like the handy links on the top right corner. I just wish you would link directly to the updates at your sites, because that's what I look at to see if it's time to join up again. But then, I suppose I'm just a guy encouraging the corporate-ness of this blog. I have enjoyed visiting your blog very much. I think that you are a very concise writer, and it's a joy to find spanking-related articles that are intelligently and thoughtfully written.

I think that any time a person brings attention to the fact that spanking is a part of his or her life, he or she is offering a glimpse of a very personal side. I certainly don't tell my friends and family how I like to be spanked, nor do I sign my comments on spanking blogs with my real name. That is not an aspect of my life that I wish to share. You have already made public your attraction to spanking, as well as your wife, so I appreciate that you may not be willing to disclose personal information. I know I'm not.

I appreciate that you have created this blog for me to read and enjoy. Thanks.
~ Peri I do beg to differ in that most of those who view your site or other sites are men. I believe that there are probably just as many, if not more, women ... probably because we cannot find a way to get a man to spank us! So, we silently sneek into the spanking sites and wish it were us ...

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