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How to provide an effective punishment to someone who enjoys being spanked.

As disciplinarians we are often faced with the problem of trying to teach someone, who enjoys being spanked, a proper lesson. Let’s face it, the majority of people that are actively involved in spanking, are consenting adults who gain some degree of pleasure from being spanked. In essence, this is like giving a child candy for being naughty. Now I do understand that even those that like to be spanked generally do not enjoy it at the time. But, while they might not enjoy it at the time, they may find themselves looking forward to their next spanking. If we really want to apply a punishment that will teach a lesson as well as decrease the chances of that behavior occurring again, we need to be creative in our ways to make sure we achieve good results. This essay will explore the ways we can maximize the effectiveness of a punishment, knowing that a spanking is what the person in trouble wants.

TAKE AWAY THE SEXUAL ELEMENT

For most that enjoy spanking, there is a strong sexual element involved. Thinking about spanking, watching a spanking, or being spanked tends to make those who like to be spanked horny. As a disciplinarian, this introduces problems when trying to give a spanking for real offenses. It basically leaves us pursuing a course of action that we know is going to turn on the person who is supposed to be in trouble. If the punishment leaves them sexually excited, is it really a punishment? I would argue that it is not. A proper punishment is something that, once applied, leaves them trying their best to make sure that it never happens again. If the only results are an erection or a swollen clit, then we are failing in our role as disciplinarians.

I would suggest making them relieve their sexual energy prior to the spanking. This can serve a couple of purposes. The first is the humiliation factor. For most, masturbation is a very private thing. Most people do not masturbate on command, nor do they masturbate in front of others. I think it is perfectly reasonable to command the naughty boy/girl to masturbate to orgasm in front of you prior to their punishment. This will immediately help them relieve some of the sexual energy that has probably built up in anticipation of the spanking. Clearly, this process is more effective with men than with women. Once a man achieves an orgasm, it generally takes a little while before he is feeling sexual again. With a woman, an orgasm is often just a warm-up. With some women it may be necessary to require her to achieve a few orgasms prior to the spanking. Regardless, I feel that if the person that is about to be spanked is forced to have an orgasm beforehand, the punishment will be more effective.

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EXCEEDING LIMITS

For the purposes of this essay you must consider that I am not talking about fun or sexy spankings. I am talking about a spanking for real offenses that must be dealt with. I am talking about applying a spanking in such a way as to teach a very real lesson that will never be forgotten. I am talking about extinguishing undesirable behavior and actions for good. I am also assuming this is a consensual spanking between partners that know each other very well. Based on these variables let’s talk about severity and limits.

I think most that are into being spanked want to have their limits explored and possibly exceeded a little. I think most spankers, who know their partners well, know when it is just about time to stop spanking. How we know when to stop is based on what we know the spankee can take. I think most spankers tend to take their partner to a similar level of intensity every time they spank. This is because we are trying to stay within their limits enough, to assure that they will still want to play in the future. But, we are now talking about administering a spanking that they would not ever want repeated, thus changing their behavior to assure that a spanking of this intensity never happens again.

If we are going to punish this person and make sure that the punishment was effective, and produces the desired results, we are going to have to go beyond the exploration of limits, we are going to have exceed them. I am not talking about exploring their limits further, I am talking about going beyond what we know they can handle and are comfortable with. Remember, this is being done in their best interest and we want to make sure this sort of behavior or action stops altogether. Consider parents who spank their children (which I do not recommend). What parent, who is trying to eliminate an undesirable behavior, stops spanking when they feel the child is getting close to their limits? That is just not how it works. The goal is to provide a stimulus so intense that they will do anything to avoid that stimulus from being applied again, ever.

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Many punishment spankings between adults stop when tears begin to flow. For the type of punishment we are talking about, I feel when the tears start to flow, the punishment has begun. If we really want to eliminate bad behavior, we need to spank long and hard, with tears flowing for the majority of the punishment. The spanking does not really begin until we have reached the point where they want it to stop. If the spankee is not crying, complaining, and begging you to stop, you are not doing your job very effectively. This is for their own good and if you really care about this person and helping them change for the better, you will ignore their pleas. Remember, this is a person who enjoys the concept of being spanked. Our goal is to provide an experience that they will not enjoy. Yes, there is a good chance that a week later they will look back onto the experience with excitement, but we need to make sure that even though they see it as exciting after the fact, that they would never want it repeated.

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KNOW WHAT THEY HATE

If you are at all experienced as a disciplinarian you should have a good sense of what the person you punish likes and does not like in the way of spanking. Every spankee out there can probably tell you what implement they hate the most, without any hesitation. For some couples into spanking, I am sure there are even implements the spankee will not allow in the house. As disciplinarians, we need to capitalize on these fears. Remember, this is the spanking that they are not supposed to enjoy. Make sure you have a few of the implements you know are most feared. Keep these implements stashed away, they do not even need to know they exist. Their value as a punishment tool will be better served if they do not see them until they are really in trouble.

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spanking picture

Knowing what they hate goes well beyond implement selection. It can apply to any aspect of their punishment. The level of dress you make them assume for their punishment can add to the overall effectiveness. Some people do not like to get naked and may have never been fully naked for a spanking. If this is the case, full nudity should be required. Take it to the next level and make them undress in front of a window. Even further, once they are naked, make them stand with their hands behind their head for several minutes before the punishment begins.

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Another effective addition to a punishment is the inclusion of the backs of the thighs as a target area. Most people, even those into spanking, do not respond well to having their thighs spanked. While not as padded as the bottom, the thighs are padded enough to make a safe target. I would still never apply hard paddle swats to the backs of the legs, but a hand, strap, or canes are all within reason to use here. Use extra care when spanking the legs and limit your strokes to the fleshier parts. You would never want to spank directly behind the knees with any force.

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Also consider the position you spank in. Just as with implement selection, most spankees have positions that they hate to be punished in. Take advantage of this and put them in the most uncomfortable and exposed position you can come up with. It is amazing how effective of a punishment, being fully naked and in the lunge position, can be. This makes for a very uncomfortable punishment before the first swat even lands. Be creative and make the whole process as memorable as possible.

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Think out of the box in this area and find things in other parts of their lives that you know they do not like. A good example is a video camera. Very few people like to see or hear themselves on camera. If this is the case, videotape the whole punishment and make them watch it every night for a week. Before the punishment, make them state their offense to the camera, so they are reminded every time they are forced to watch it. If they do not like to see themselves nude, make sure you film them naked in front of the camera for several minutes. When introducing things, as part of the punishment, that you know they will hate, the possibilities are endless. Do not just thinking about spanking, think about life in general. We are trying to teach them a lesson here; you owe it to them to be effective.

TAKE AWAY THE SENSUAL ELEMENTS

Taking away the sensual aspects is a tough job. The main reason being, that the whole act of submission in general is one of the most sensual aspects of spanking. What I am trying to get you to do is consider the dynamics of being punished that they probably do not fantasize about. When punishing someone who likes to be spanked, this is a key element. There is no rule that says a punishment, that does involve spanking, cannot involve many other things that you know they will not enjoy. Let’s explore some of these options.

The first thing that comes to mind is corner time. Corner time can be a highly effective addition to any punishment. I think some spankees do fantasize about corner time, due to the fact that nothing conjures up images of being a naughty child more than corner time. While they might fantasize about it, you can quickly put that to a rest. The key to corner time is discomfort. Don’t just make them stand in a corner and relax. You need to make the corner time as uncomfortable as the spanking itself. Make them kneel on something hard, put them in a position you know will quickly lead to muscle fatigue, and make them feel exposed and vulnerable. You can make them hold their hands or feet in an uncomfortable manner, or hold a penny in place with their nose against a wall. Remember, very few spankees fantasize about sore knees from an hour kneeling on the brinks of the fireplace mantle. The possibilities are endless, so be creative. But be sure that just as with the spanking, that their corner time experience is not one that they would ever want to repeat.

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Another effective addition to a proper punishment is the writing of lines. Just as with the sore knees example above, very few people include sore hands from writing lines when they are fantasizing about being punished. The writing assignment needs to be a long one and it should be a couple of sentences, or a paragraph, which is difficult enough that it is not easily memorized. It should also be a sentence that will help them consider what got them there in the first place. I recommend making them use a pen, not a pencil, and any mistakes do not count towards the total number of lines required. I think it is also beneficial (meaning harder for them) to make them print all words and use all capital letters. Do not go light on the number of times they have to write the paragraph. Ideally, you want an assignment that will take 2-3 hours to complete. If they are not stopping and shaking out their writing hand, well into their assignment, then you do not assign enough lines. Remember, we are not just looking to give them something to pass the time; we want this to be uncomfortable for them and difficult to complete. When you review their lines upon completion of their assignment, feel free to not count any lines that are not legible. If the last 20 lines were hard to read, they should be made to redo them.

As disciplinarians, we need to think back to childhood to find the most effective things to include beyond spanking. Maybe your naughty boy/girl should be grounded after the spanking. Maybe there should be extra chores assigned. If applicable, maybe you should have the person being punished apologize to anyone that was affected by his or her behavior. What about sending them to bed with no dinner after the spanking? Does the person being punished have a favorite TV show? If so, it may be time that they missed a few episodes. A lot of people into spanking spend a lot of time on their computer. If so, think about packing it up and putting it away for a month. After the punishment, if the person being punished gets a phone call from a friend, it might be effective to tell the friend that they cannot come to the phone, they are grounded. A little embarrassment goes a long way as a part of a punishment.

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Once again be creative and think hard about the likes and dislikes of the person to be punished. Measure the things that you use as part of the punishment by “does he/she fantasize about this when thinking about being punished”. If the answer is “no” then you should include it. Remember our goal here is not to realize fantasies; it is to extinguish bad behavior that we do not want to see repeated.

MAKE THE PUNISHMENT LAST BEYOND THE DAY OF THE ACTUAL PUNISHMENT

A brief punishment is one that is rarely remembered. I am not talking about just making the actual spanking longer, I am talking about a punishment that effects their comfort for days to come. This is accomplished in many ways.

As in my examples above, things like making them watch the video, or grounding them, or taking away their computer serve as a daily reminder of what they did wrong. Unfortunately, the pain of a spanking rarely last as long we would like it to. But, there are a few things you can do to make sure they think about their infractions every time they sit down for a least a week. To really accomplish this, you need to select implements carefully. Some implements sting a lot, more like being slapped. Other hit with a thud, more like being punched. It is the implements that hit with a thud that leave a longer lasting impression. I recommend ending any serious punishment with a thick wooden implement. This implement should be used to strike the lowest part of the bottom, where the bottom meets the thighs. I am essentially talking about the “sit spot”. (Please note I assume you know what you are doing and that you have the ability to apply a hard spanking safely. If you are not experienced please do not consider any of the things I am saying). You are targeting the area that always touches a seat when they sit down. You should apply repeated strokes to the exact same two spots. If done properly, this will assure that they are not able to sit comfortably for several days. While a spanking can be sensual, and the after effects of a spanking as well, a sore bottom three days after the fact, is just a sore bottom. It provides pain and discomfort that serves as a frequent reminder of their previous behavior.

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spanking picture

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For the most severe infractions (ex. Drinking and driving), I feel a follow up spanking(s) may be beneficial. This is especially effective for those with a very high pain tolerance, especially if you have concerns if the spanking did the trick or not. You will not believe the changes in behavior you will see when you decide to paddle a naughty person’s bottom the day after their punishment. With the exception of additional pain, there are not really any added dangers in spanking an already bruised bottom. I promise that when you apply a paddle to someone’s bottom that is already having difficulty sitting, regardless of how much they are into spanking, they will not enjoy it. This is a very effective way of spanking someone who likes to be spanked and making sure they do not enjoy it. If you really need to make a point, maybe they should get 10 swats every morning following their punishment for a week, right before they head out the door for work. It does not matter how much they like to be spanked, a punishment of this type will assure that they will get their act together.

A final thing that I feel is mandatory, but is very hard to enforce, is that of orgasms. When spanking someone who likes to be spanked, and wanting it to be a very real punishment, you need to take away their ability to have an orgasm for at least a week. We would hate to have gone through all this trouble to change someone’s behavior, only for him or her to lie in bed the next day, masturbating to the image of the whole thing. This is the type of reinforcement that we do not want, something that gives a positive slant to the whole process. Remember, we want nothing but negative images and emotions associated with this punishment, and a powerful orgasm right after a punishment interferes with the whole process. But, most people masturbate in private and alone, so this is going to be a hard one to enforce. The best way is to inform them of how many days they are to wait before they will be allowed an orgasm, and let them know that failure to comply will result in an exact repeat of the punishment they just received. This is not to say that you cannot have sex with your partner during that time, but THEY will not be allowed to achieve an orgasm during sex with you. You did nothing wrong, so there is no reason you cannot.

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The whole point of this essay is to help you achieve results when punishing someone who likes to be spanked. As much as they like it, you can still apply a very effective punishment that they will never want repeated. If you really care about this person, you will take the time and effort required to teach them the lesson they deserve. We are here to guide them and help them see the error in their ways and help them to learn from their mistakes. While the punishments I have outlined here are for the most part severe, please do not ever be abusive. You can punish someone severely while still caring and respecting him or her throughout the whole process. The punishment should be applied out of love and not anger. In addition, while there may be certain levels of embarrassment involved in the process, we are not here to humiliate them or make them feel like less of a person. We are here to clearly let them know that what they did is unacceptable and there is a price to pay for their actions. Follow up the punishment with a hug and let them know how much you care about them. Let them know that if you did not care for them, you would not take the time to punish them. Most of all, play safe!


Posted by Michael Masterson on 01/31 at 05:47 PM

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