What turns me on about spanking and private discipline highlights
While we all love spanking, everyone’s kink is highly specific. I see this all the time in the many requests and emails I receive on a daily basis. For everyone that loves hand spanking and OTK, there is another that hates it and wants to only see bare bottom with a girl grabbing her ankles. I am not exactly sure how our kink evolves, but certainly childhood experience has a lot to do with it. For those models that I spank, that are truly into spanking, their particular desires tend to be influenced by how they were spanked growing up. For many of us, our thoughts and desires were shaped by things we experienced, saw growing up, or accounts from friends that were spanked. I grew up in Texas where the paddle ruled in the schools and the belt was the implement of choice in the home. I am sure this had a direct effect as to why school paddling scenes and belt over the jeans are two of my very favorite scenes to film. This was the world I grew up in, this is how I was first exposed to real life spankings that existed outside of my head, and it has had a big influence on what I like to see as an adult.
I spend most of my time blogging about my life as a spanking content producer and do not get too much into the details of my private spanking life. I thought I would spend some time blogging about the unique opportunities I have had as a disciplinarian off camera, highlighting some of my favorite sessions and exploring some of the things that I really like to incorporate into a real life session. I must start by saying that off camera I have never done “a scene”. There is no role playing, and I only see young ladies who are willing to visit me for a real life punishment for very real offenses. I have done this on and off for close to 15 years and it tends to breathe a new life into me as spanking is something that has become my job. At work, spankings are exactly that. I spend so much of my time focused on the content, the cameras, the lighting, the model’s comfort level, that most of the joy of getting to spank young and beautiful girls is taken out of it. But when I do a private discipline session, I once again am able to see the attraction to spanking in general.
Over the years I have become highly selective as to whom I will spank privately. I get many emails that are basically “I love your videos, will you spank me”? These emails go right to the recycle bin as they have grown old very quickly. On occasion I will get a well thought out, well written email in which a young lady is reaching out to me for help in her life. Yes, the common thread to all of the emails is that this is indeed someone with a spanking fetish and a desire to be spanked, but there are some out there really looking to incorporate their desires with a real need to be held accountable for their actions and transgressions. These are the emails that get my attention and warrant a response. I spend a great deal of time looking into where in their life that they need help and at the beginning of the correspondence there is no talk of spanking. The focus is on the issues they are having, big mistakes they have made, and accountability for their actions. I have learned to weed out those that are looking for good masturbatory material, and are simply corresponding for some sort of fun and sexy game. I make it clear that what I am offering in the way of a discipline program is going to more than just about spanking. I have found one of the best ways to really see how committed a young lady is to the program, is for her 1st punishment to be the writing of lines. This is always the 1st punishment assigned and there is nothing sexy or fun about it. A typical assignment is 500 lines, hand written, with a pen, in all capital letters. It is generally a couple of sentences designed to be complicated and hard to memorize. She is required to write all 500 lines and then send them to my PO Box for my review. This is a good 1st step and shows her total commitment to the overall process and making changes in her life. It does nothing to feed her spanking fantasy, and the reality is, writing all those lines sucks a lot and leaves someone with a very sore hand. It can take many hours to complete such an assignment.
When there is finally an agreement to meet, women often travel to my location for their actual punishment. While I do put a lot of thought into their program and the setting of goals, and appropriate punishments for their past actions, this is the one point in my life where I get to enjoy what I like about spanking. There are several elements that I really enjoy regarding a real life corporal punishment between adults. The 1st, and most important to me, is that it be a spanking for real life offenses. I do not want anyone to pretend to be naughty; I want a person who has actually misbehaved in a manner that requires correction. In general, I want her offense to be serious, one that requires a severe punishment. The times that I have spanked young ladies for actual crimes, or DUI’s are the best, as I know they are deserving of the type of punishment I like to administer. Another big factor for me is to provide a punishment that is far beyond what they would willingly accept. Let’s face it, a spanking that is enjoyed, does nothing in the way as serving as a deterrent. I know that they are going to fantasize about their punishment prior to it even taking place and will also probably masturbate to the whole experience, days after it is over. But I try very hard to make sure that during the punishment, that there is absolutely no part of it that is enjoyable, and even if they will be able to eroticize it at a later date, I want to make sure that it is a punishment that they would never in their lifetime want to repeat. These are the factors that lead to learning, and a change in behavior actually taking place.
I find it important to make all aspects of her punishment, beyond just that of the spanking, as uncomfortable as possible. If getting her bottom spanked turns her on, I need to be creative to find other ways to assure she would not want to repeat her punishment. While I do my best to never humiliate a young lady, I find that embarrassment can go a long way in making a punishment memorable. The typical girl, that comes to me for the 1st time, is generally worried about two things, how much the spanking is going to hurt and any level of nudity. Unless she is a full on exhibitionist, most women are not all that comfortable showing any part of their body to someone they are not in an intimate relationship with. While I have indeed had frequent email communication with these young ladies, typically, when they walk in my door, this is the 1st time we have ever met in person. I typically greet them warmly, offer them a glass of water, and ask if they need to use the bathroom. Once that is taken care of, I politely instruct them to remove all of their clothing and jewelry, and to stand at attention in the middle of the room. This has a way of really setting the tone and also catching them off guard. I am demonstrating, from the 1st minute, that I am not only in control, but I have the power to have them strip naked. There is really no situation is a woman’s life in which any person has the power to tell them to strip naked and just stand there on display. It establishes power, control, and dominance instantly. There have been more than a few who hesitate and just sort of stand there like a deer in the headlights. This problem is generally fixed with a casual comment such as “10 swats with the wooden paddle, on your bare bottom, for not following directions, would you like to make it 20”? I have used this phrase at least a dozen times in my life and it gets clothes off of a woman quicker than tequila.
Once the young lady is naked and in place, or shall I say, on display, I sit down and review her punishment journal. I have everyone keep one of these and it consists of goal, daily schedule, infractions, and so on. For close to ten minutes, while she stands fully naked in front of me, with her arms behind her back, I review her journal and say nothing at all. I believe this is a very powerful part of the overall punishment process. Yes, she may spend all day fantasizing about being spanked, but this is not typically what she fantasizes about. She now has time alone with her thoughts thinking about nothing but how uncomfortable she is standing there naked and what she did to bring her to this point in her life. The punishment has already begun for her and there is not an implement in site. For many young ladies the lecture is a big part of their fantasy. While I will eventually review with them what they did wrong and what the results will be, giving them that awkward time, in which no words are spoken, gives them nothing to fuel their fantasies. They are simply naked and on display and I make a point of looking them over often while I review their journal.
Another element that is a big factor for me during any spanking is that of cooperation. I see the whole process as being done for their benefit, not mine. It is not my spanking, it is HER spanking. We are there as a result of her actions, we are trying to correct her behavior, and therefore this is HER punishment. I have been kind enough to spend many hours helping her to come up with a schedule to make her life more effective as well as to bring her to my home to correct her transgressions. As a result, I expect her to be an active participant and to help me in any way required to see that she is punished to the best of my ability. I expect that I will not be chasing anyone around the room, or holding anyone is place while she is being spanked, it is her job to cooperate and assist me throughout the entire process. Obviously this is easier said than done, as when I administer a real punishment spanking, there is nothing fun about it. I find the threat of additional correction helps a lot during a spanking, to get a young lady to better cooperate. I also find that moving to the thighs and punishing her hands, helps a young lady to realize that it is best to hold still and only have her bottom spanked. Repeated strokes, for moving out of position can also be a good motivational tool. When a woman ends up taking 40+ swats with a wooden paddle, for a 20 swat paddling in which she would not hold still, her resolve seems increased as we progress in her punishment.
It should be no surprise to you that I prefer to administer a hard spanking. It is certainly no surprise to the girl being punished that this is going to be the case. This part was made abundantly clear from the very beginning of our correspondence and while the pain is certainly shocking at first, it should not be all that surprising to her. After all, we are talking about adult women, who are traveling to see a man, in order for him to punish her in a manner that will actually change her behavior. Or, it might be to help her relieve some guilt she has felt for many years regarding a particular event in her life. But either way, there is no reason for any aspect of it to be playful or fun for her. The goal of the day is to provide a stimulus to her bottom that hurts enough, that she would not want to feel it again. I do not believe in a warm-up spanking in any shape or form. My goal is not to guide her gently through the process and build things up slowly to a place in which a harder spanking is possible. It is actually quite the opposite and I take full advantage of those first few minutes. I know that her body will begin to produce endorphins and slowly be able to adjust to the level of pain she is feeling, so the first few minutes are the most important. This is my chance to really send a message to her brain, through her bottom, that tells her to get her act together. I have heard many people say that a spanking does not really start until the person being spanked wants it to be over. My goal is for the person being spanked to want it to stop the very moment it begins. For some of the more severe offenses I have dealt with in the past, such as a DUI, tears are the goal from the very 1st swat of the paddle or crack of the belt, and in these situations, I tend to achieve my goals.
A long and hard punishment session with me tends to go through a few phases. The first, as I discussed above, is to shock her system. I try to make the very beginning of the spanking the worst part. Over the course of the punishment, I try to vary the spanking as to create different, yet painful sensations. I find that a thick leather belt, on a bare bottom, is a good way to start. When swung full force, it really creates a sting like nothing else. A paddle has a tendency to numb a butt quickly, and that is not what I want to happen. A couple of dozen full force strokes with a belt, on a bare bottom, will pretty much always give me the tears I am looking for. It might take a few of them on her thighs to get her to stay into place, but a belt helps the learning process greatly. She can have fantasized about being spanked her whole life, but I do my best to make sure that there is nothing at all enjoyable about what she is feeling. I often utilize corner time as a way to let her bottom cool down and for the endorphins to back off a little. If I see that her body begins to relax and that it is clear that she is finding it easier to bear, then it is time for a break. I find that if I am creative, that corner time itself can serve as a pretty good punishment. This also goes back to creating a situation that she is not able to eroticize in any way. Yes, she may have fantasized often about being in trouble, being spanked, and having a sore bottom, but there is nothing sexy about kneeling on a brick mantle, with tears still streaming down her face, and her arms behind her back. She may have thought often about a sore bottom, but for the most part, sore knees from 20 minutes of kneeling never entered into the equation for her. She is simply left alone with her thoughts and once again finds herself wondering what she did to get herself into this situation. At this point she does not know how long she will be there, if her punishment is over, she just knows that what she is going through sucks and that she would not want to do it again.
When it comes to the actual application of a spanking, there are two things every girl can count on. The first is 100% coverage of her bottom. I like to see a bottom in which there is not a single part of it that has not been spanked. While it is not safe to use a wooden paddle, or even a belt to try and cover her whole bottom, I have many implements that I use to make sure that the very tops and sides of her butt are properly spanked. I often use a thick leather paddle, at some point, to make sure I have complete coverage. The other thing that she can count on is bruises and being sore. I feel that if I am going to take the time, to punish a young lady who has actually traveled to my location, then the punishment needs to last well beyond the actual spanking itself. I really think this is one of the most important aspects of a proper punishment spanking. Yes, a hard spanking that lasts up to 30 minutes can indeed be a deterrent, but I think a lesson is better learned, if the punishment is ongoing for days. Once again, I think this is an element that most women do not fully consider when looking for a very real spanking. In their mind, they fantasize about a freshly spanked bottom with a nice red glow, and that fun tingling sensation from an erotic spanking. But what I am looking to provide is a stimulus that last for several days, that serves as a reminder every time they sit down. I want them to reflect on their past behavior as they try to endure the next few days. I have had several women report back to me that while the spanking was intense, when they left my house, they felt that it was not that bad after all. This is a result of their endorphins and adrenaline being very high and their body compensating for what they just experienced. But if I did my job, in less than an hour, they begin to realize that their punishment is not over, and that in fact, it is just beginning. The numbness begins to fade and it is replaced with a not so gentle throbbing with each beat of their heart. The muscles in their bottom begin to tighten up, and it becomes clear to them the reality they are facing. Very quickly they realize that this is not fun, this is not sexy, this is pain and learning at its finest.
To achieve the long term results that I am looking for, I generally use wooden paddles or a hairbrush. After a long session with multiple implements, the paddle is often not as bad as they expected. But my goal with the paddle is long term learning, and not short term reactions. I do my best to focus the paddle swats on the lowest part of their bottom. Hard and repeated paddle swats make a young lady’s bottom go numb very quickly, but at this point that is not an issue. I focus a lot of time and energy on the “sit spot” making sure that it is bruised in such a way that sitting becomes a very real issue in the future. Many people have heard the phrase “you will not sit down for a week”, and while that is optimistic, I have been able to accomplish not sitting down for a couple of days. I am not suggesting anyone try this at home, as I do have a bit of experience in applying a hard paddling safely, but it really is possible to spank someone in a manner in which they cannot sit down after. But this is the point, a punishment that was so intense and painful that they will do anything to never go through it again. And by anything, I mean the things that brought them there in the 1st place. I think paddling a girl black and blue, so she is so sore that she has to call into work for the next couple days, is fair for someone who repeatedly drinks and drives, especially if it has a chance to eliminate that behavior. I think many young ladies fully underestimate the amount of soreness a proper spanking is able to provide. While it seems limited to her bottom, just about any movement of her body creates pain. Walking, sitting, and even standing becomes a chore when every muscle in her bottom is tight and sore. The next morning is always the worst as the wake-up to a pain they have never known before. There is one girl, who I have had a few private discipline sessions with, that has told me that she ended up squatting over the toilet for the next few days, as sitting on the hard seat was really impossible to bear.
There are times when I have managed to have some fun with the whole thing, while adding to the overall effectiveness of the punishment. On many occasions I have taken the young lady out to eat after her session, so we can hang out and get to know each other on a different level. I have to admit it is fun to watch them squirm in their seats as they begin to realize that sitting is a very real issue. There was an occasion in which I took a girl to Chili’s after her session and when the hostess began to seat us at a booth, I asked for a table in which the chairs were not padded, adding “she was just spanked and I do not want her sitting comfortably”. The naughty girl turned as red as her bottom and the hostess said “oh my” and took us to one of the tall bar tables with wooden stools. The girl continued to be embarrassed as the hostess walked over to the hostess stand and shared with the other girl and a waitress what I had just said. For a brief second she was not focused on her bottom and was simply embarrassed as all three girls looked at her and giggled a bit. There was another occasion in which I met a girl in Vegas for her session and she was as in the closet about her spanking fetish as much as anyone I have ever known. Since this was to be a long spanking weekend, we took her punishment more slowly than I typically would, in order for it to be able to last a couple of days. Her punishment started with a close to 20 minute handspanking in which I covered every inch of her bottom and made it is bright red as I possibly could. After her spanking, she was required to change into her bikini and we headed to the pool. There was a family pool and an adult area, so we went to the adult pool. I required her to pull her bikini up into her butt crack a bit and sunbathe her bright red bottom. She did as she was required, but she buried her face into her towel as she could not bear the reactions she assumed she was getting. I sat a few chairs away and watched as people walked by. Surprisingly, everyone seemed quite entertained and not at all concerned, one guy even gave his lady a good smack on her bottom as they walked by giggling, it was Vegas after all.
For the most part there is not a strong sexual element to the punishments I provide those in need. But there have been occasions in which I have used something, which does have a sexual element, to further enhance the discipline. It has been several years, but there was a girl I met for a single time, that was clearly a huge fan of the sites. It was also clear to me that she had a collection of spanking porn larger than mine. She knew every site and every model, and every spanker out there. While I felt her heart was in the right place as a far as seeing me for a session, I knew that she was really getting off on the whole idea well before we ever met. I did not want her to bring all of that sexual energy into a session with me, so I simply decided that she would have to relieve it prior to being spanked. Before she arrived I went and bought one of those small “mighty might” vibrators that is specific to clitoral stimulation. Her session started like most, with her having to strip and me reviewing her journal, but after some quiet time with her standing naked, I went and got the vibrator. I told her to lie down on the couch and to use the vibrator until she achieved an orgasm. She was a little hesitant at 1st, as once again we had just met, but after telling her she had earned some cane strokes (the one implement she feared the most), the vibrator began to hum to life. It took her all of three minutes to cum, so I made her do it again. It took her more than 5 minutes the second time, but that was enough, and her punishment began. With the Vegas girl, there was a lot of down time between spankings and it kind of felt like a date weekend. I needed her to remember at all times the purpose of the trip, so I took her to an adult toy store for some shopping (which she also found horribly embarrassing). We went in and picked out 5 different butt plugs, or various sizes. I gave her the money and made her go to the counter to purchase them. As the weekend progressed, she was required to insert a plug into her bottom every time we left the room. I think it is safe to say that when we saw the Blue Man Group that she was the only girl in the audience with a bruised bottom and an extra-large butt plug inserted into her behind. I promise you have never seen a woman squirm so much during a Vegas show.
I have been very lucky over the years with my spanking experiences. I am not a particularly handsome guy, but my job has allowed me to be a visible member of the spanking community. Many women have been able to see my style of spanking, have watched how long I have been doing it, and somehow with that, comes a sense of trust. I have not had to work hard to make the connections I have made, and in every case, the women have come to me. Beyond the actual spanking, I really do work hard to try and help these ladies find a direction, to be self-motivated, and to pursue success in their lives. Yes, I have blistered and bruised every one of their bottoms and left them in tears, but they all seem to have appreciated it. There are many who have never come back to see me, mostly because they learned their lesson and realized that they do not want to behave in a manner that results in a punishment like the one I provided them. There are several who I have seen on and off over the years, or as often as their behavior requires it. These sessions are what feeds my kink and allows me to pursue spanking as it exists in my head. It is nice to not have to worry about the “lights, camera, action” element and focus on a spanking as an actual punishment. This turned out a little wordy but it feels good to share something beyond my spanking productions. Cheers.
Comments:
Very well written and thank you for sharing this.Any more experiences where you said something in public, with the spankee listening?
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