Spanking in the real world and the roots of our spanking fantasies (Repost)
By request, I am reposting this article that explores some of the more difficult aspects of our fetish.
This is a difficult topic to explore and one that I have always had trouble putting into words. As many times as I have tried, I have never been able to articulate this point very effectively. Regardless, I thought I would go ahead and give it a shot as a blog entry. Let�s start with the difficult questions and see if we can find something resembling an answer.
Why do so many spanking videos feature situations that feel like a child in trouble getting spanked by a parent?
Why are there so many school scenes with a naughty student and a teacher or principal spanking them?
Why do we see so many people posting their true accounts of childhood spankings on the web?
Why do so many people actively seek these accounts out and read them?
Why do I blog so much about school corporal punishment and why is this one of the most requested scenes on my sites?
Why do many couples participate in �age play� in their spanking scenes?
As you can see, these are tough questions to answers. At their root, I think these are some of the things that make so many people uncomfortable about their spanking fetish. It makes them feel weird or “perverted”, so much so that they may go their entire lifetime without ever telling anyone that the concept of spanking is appealing to them. They feel like they need to just suppress these feelings and hope they go away. They assume that there must just be something wrong with them, but I would have to disagree. The Internet has made it easier for many people to realize that they are not alone out there in their “perverted” thoughts, but I think that most of us had difficulties coming to grips with it. I never once told any of my friends in school, that while they were making comments on how much they would like to have sex with a particular girl, I was thinking about bending her over and smacking her bottom with a paddle. I am sure that there are many women out there who fantasized about the captain of the football team taking her over his knee and spanking her to tears.
So what is the common thread to the questions I asked above? The common thread is that all of the above things are that they are real life spankings. I see three areas in life that real spankings take place, parental spankings, school corporal punishment, and judicial punishments. Just about any other spanking situation is between consenting adults. Sure there are a few exceptions to the rule. In the Middle East, there are many countries in which it is legal (and encouraged) for a husband to discipline his wife. From the limited information I have about this type of discipline, it seems pretty abusive. It is not a “you have been bad and have earned a punishment” type of situation, I see these situations being more related to domestic abuse, which I will never find sexy. I have seen evidence of “Christian domestic discipline” in which the couple feels that the teachings of the Bible encourage the man to physically punish his wife. This is limited enough in its use that it is foreign to most of us, so it is not the type of thing to fuel our fantasies. There are also situations like fraternity and sorority paddlings, but this falls more into the category of “hazing” and is generally not administered as a punishment. Without the punishment element, it looses a lot of what I find exciting about spanking.
Beyond what I have listed, what we are left with is consensual spanking between adults. Don’t get me wrong, there is plenty of excitement in consensual spanking between adults, there has to be, for the most part it is all we have to work with. But even in this context, many of us strive to create an atmosphere similar to the three areas listed above. For those not active in a spanking relationship, they often seek out content that has the feel of the above three areas. Why is this? To understand we need to look at spanking at its very core. Let’s take a look at spanking in the minds of people who do not eroticize it in any way. Consider what a 12 year old would tell you about what a spanking is. I think any of the following would be accurate quotes:
“It hurts”, “it is done to teach you a lesson”, “it happens when I get in trouble”, “it makes you cry”, “I do not ever want another one”, “it makes my bottom sore”, “it makes me behave”.
In general we have a situation in which someone has clearly committed an offense and they are then physically punished for it. In these real life situations the person in trouble has no control over when, where, how, with what, or for how long they are spanked. They are simply in a situation that they have no control over and it is their own actions that led them there. For the most part, the goal of this spanking is to produce a sore bottom, often to produce tears, and to teach a very real lesson. Another very key point is that this spanking is non-consensual. In real life spanking situations the person, if given the choice, would not want to be spanked. In the case of school corporal punishment, many times people elect to be spanked, but this is only because they find the alternative to the spanking to be worse.
I think the fact that many people look for spanking videos, pictures, and stories that focus on discipline of this type is normal. They are looking to see spanking presented in a way that seems real. Does this mean that we want to see children spanked? Absolutely not. There are so many ways to discipline children that are more effective than spanking. But there are limited situation in which real spankings take place. A logical place to look would be in the realm of judicial punishments. In reality, there is nothing sexy or exciting about judicial punishments in my eyes. I have seen pictures that show the results of real judicial punishments and there is nothing exciting about them. It is almost torture and in many cases the skin is ripped off the body with every stroke leading to permanent scaring. I like strict punishments, but at this level, it does nothing for me. So for me, when considering real spankings in the real world, there are parental punishments and school punishments. Do I think that either should really take place? No. Do I like to read true accounts of these things taking place? Guilty.
Why do we not find the same appeal when considering consensual spanking between adults? I think it is because we loose an element of realism and move a little away from what I find to be the root of spanking. Do we have situations in which one person is really in trouble and is really being punished in these relationships? Yes, but in most cases, one or both of the people involved find sexual excitement from this situation. This does not make it hurt any less, but it does reduce some of the dynamics that I find so appealing. Punishment or not, at some point the person being spanked expressed a desire to be spanked. As much as they may hate it at the time, at some point before or after, they fantasized about being spanked. For me, the concept of them wanting it, takes a bit away from the whole dynamic. A punishment that is desired is not really a punishment in my eyes. I think this is why you see me writing so frequently about additional things to add to a punishment beyond the spanking. I am trying to introduce elements that decrease their enjoyment of the punishment, thus increasing the realism.
I think another aspect that makes us attracted to the parental element of a spanking is unconditional love. While it exists in some relationships, it is probably not to the same degree as it does in a parent child relationship. I feel that, especially for women, there is a strong sense of feeling protected and safe that comes from parental discipline. Even when in trouble and being punished, there is a strong feeling of being taken care of. They find a sense of security from someone that is willing to discipline them, even when they do not want to, in order to help them become a better person. Some couples are able to achieve this dynamic, but not without introducing at least a small sexual element. I think the bond created is strong enough that there are many straight men out there looking for male/male spanking as adults. There was something that they felt while being punished growing up that they are looking to recreate as adults. It is not just the physical sensations that they are looking to find again, it goes well beyond that.
I think another big influence is the age at which we found the thoughts of spanking exciting. For me, and I suspect many others, my attraction to spanking came at a very early age. Thinking about spanking excited me, well before I ever found women sexually attractive. At that age, I had no concept of consensual adult spanking and all I had to work with was spanking in the real world. Before the day of the Internet, I had very little to work with. The only real contact I had with spanking (being that my parents did not spank me) was the paddling that took place in my school and the spankings that took place in my neighborhood. I went out of my way to casually obtain information about the girls in my neighborhood and school getting spanked. At this point in my life, this was all I knew in regards to spanking and I couldn�t get enough of it. I lived in a state and town in which spanking was very common and while sometimes embarrassed, many people would talk about it because it was just part of their everyday life. It left me in a situation of fantasizing about either spanking these girls, or watching them getting spanked. In my prepubescent state, there was no sexual interaction in these fantasies, it was all about punishments. This was the early attraction for me, so I think it makes sense that this is still the attraction.
I think that if there were more real world instances of adults being spanked as a punishment, that we could easily adjust what we like to read about or see depicted on video. I do not think the common thread in my questions asked above is the fact that these are children being spanked. I think that the common thread is reality. If there were more real world occurrences of real spankings between adults that we would naturally add these to the list of things we like to read about or see depicted in spanking media. But because instances such as these are few and far between, we revert back to what originally sparked our interests in spanking while growing up.
For me, I think to a certain degree, some of what I am saying is why I find the concept of school corporal punishment exciting. This is also why I focus so much on school paddling that takes place at the high school level. I think that in some way, I feel less guilty about finding these things exciting when we are discussing almost fully grown women. There are many girls that are 18 and seniors in high school that are still paddled. This is as close as I can get to a real world spanking that involves someone that is not a child. I think that this is mentally easier for me to swallow than the thought of a grade school child being spanked. There is less mental conflict for me when I consider a fully developed woman electing to take a paddling as her punishment. This still has all of the real world elements that I find exciting, but does not make me feel so weird about it. This alone helps solidify my thoughts that if there were more real world instances of adults being spanked as a punishment, then our attention would shift to these situations. One of the first spanking scenes I ever saw in the media was the strapping in the mainstream movie “Tank”. I still think this scene is fantastic and there was nothing at all that gave it the feel of a child being punished. What it did was present a spanking as a punishment, to an adult woman, in a very realistic way, and for realistic reasons.
You will notice that in the feature length films that I have shot, I try provide content that shows legal aged adults being punished in a situation that seems at least a little plausible. This was the whole basis for the “RS Institute of Learning” website. I tried to create a realistic situation that allows for the spanking of adults. In the movies “Friday Punishments”, “the RS Institute Road Trip”, and “Maid for Punishment” there is nothing to imply that these are teenage girls. Instead, I wrote scripts based on legal aged girls being spanked in real life situations that only require a small suspension of disbelief.
You will often see me writing about childhood related punishments on this blog. You will read my thoughts on school corporal punishment, you will read some of the many accounts that I have heard about people getting spanked growing up. Because of the metal conflict involved, you will rarely read anything I have written than involves the spanking of young children. Instead, my focus in generally on people who were punished well into their teen years. Once again, while I liked hearing about these things growing up and I still like reading about them now, I am opposed to the concept of spanking children in general. If I witnessed a man in a parking lot smacking his young daughter forcefully on the bottom in an abusive manner, would I find it exciting? I do not think so. Instead, I feel my initial instinct would be to smack the shit out of him and tell him to pick on someone his own size. While there are some things I like to read about, the thought of it actually happening often makes my stomach turn, thus bringing me once again to a conflicted state of mind.
It is not always easy being into spanking. The roots of our fetish, while easier to justify at a young age, becoming increasingly difficult thoughts to rationalize as adults. What we found exciting as teens, makes us feel like perverts as adults. With my business, I have been forced to come to grips with all of this. Several times a week I am in a situation of explaining to new models why we film the types of scenes that we do. I try to explain why our scenes often have a domestic feel, while at the same time trying not to weird them out. I also try to explain that even though our scenes have a domestic feel to them, that we never have anyone call the spanker “mommy” or “daddy”. Legally, I can present a girl on video as any age that I want. We can legally do “mommy/daddy” scenes, but I do not allow it. Once again, it just leaves a bad taste in my mouth. I know this is what many people want to see (it is probably our number one request) but I just can’t force myself to do it. Once again, there is just too much mental conflict involved and it makes me uncomfortable.
In closing, I do not think that if you find yourself attracted to reading true accounts of childhood spanking that you are a pedophile. I do not think that finding yourself turned on by a spanking video in which it appears as though a teen girl is being punished by her father is all that weird. The attraction and excitement is not a product of this seeming like a child being punished, it is a product of the scene having a sense of reality to it. At its very core a spanking is a painful punishment that is meant to teach a lesson, one that the person being spanked has little or no control over. As adults into spanking, this is all that we are mentally looking for, and the age of the recipient has little or no bearing on this situation. But the reality of our world provides very few instances of this happening to adults, so we allow ourselves to push age aside and get caught up in the reality of the situation. Once again, a tough topic to discuss and even harder to rationalize, but I believe there is great truth to the points I have made. I hope that at least on some level this helps people cope with some of the more difficult aspects of their fetish.