So, it has been 11 years of on and off blogging and frankly I am out of things to say. Before I write a new blog post, I go back through the years and see if it is something I have already covered, and yes, I have covered just about everything. With the goal of blogging here more often, I am going to ignore anything I have previously posted, and just post what is on my mind. I may have posted this 5 days ago, five months ago, or five years ago, so if you have followed this blog for any length of time, I apologize if you have read something similar before. Today I thought I would explore what exactly I like regarding spanking in general and the typical themes that play out in my private spanking life.
For me, the absolute most important part of spanking is that it is real discipline for real offenses. Quite simply, I have never really engaged in “play” spanking. I have never in my personal life engaged in some sort of role play, where one or both (occasionally more) of us are assuming some sort of role. In addition, I have never attended a local play party. Yes, I have smacked a few butts by request at a Shadow Lane party, but that was more of having a few drinks in a social environment and someone asking to feel a particular implement. No one was assuming a role and it was by no means disciplinary. The most important part of spanking is that the person getting spanked actually deserves it. While I enjoy spanking on many levels, it is never really done for my benefit. It is very important to me that it is being done for someone else’s benefit.
Spanking means many different things to those of you out there that in engage in it, but for me, I prefer its original purpose, as a mean to correct an undesirable behavior. Just as important for me, is that this is a clearly defined behavior. I cannot think of a time since I applied my first spanking to a young lady’s bottom (around 25 years ago), for the purpose of discipline, in which the spanking came as a surprise. I will not spank you because I am having a bad day, or because it turns me on, or because you are pissing me off, I will spank you as a result of a behavior or attitude that we have previously discussed. Yes, there are certain things like lying, cheating, and stealing that I do not have to point out are offenses that may result in a bruised bottom. But things within our personal relationship that may result in a spanking will not only be things we have previously discussed, but in many cases, these will be things that you have told me you need help with.
The main point is that you will have earned the spanking, and you know the moment you engaged in the behavior that the chances of being spanked for it are high. I do not use the phrase “real discipline” lightly at all. Many see me as a little heavy handed, but we are talking about the physical punishment, of a consenting adult, with the goals of actually trying to change a behavior. In the history of spanking relationships, especially with a young lady with a spanking fetish, very little has ever actually been accomplished by applying a gentle spanking. This just fuels the fire and encourages her to act in a manner that allows her to have a warm bottom and a tingle down below. Well, that is “play” spanking, not real discipline. Within my relationships, current and past, if someone needs a spanking, then I am going to blister their ass. It is very simple, either a behavior requires a spanking, or it does not. If it is something very minor, than I am not even going to administer a spanking, and we may just have a discussion about it. But if it does require a spanking, than she better hold on because I am going to make sure it is painful, memorable, and designed to make sure whatever we are dealing with never happens again.
I do not believe in a warm-up in any shape or form, I see no point in it, as it really defeats the purpose of what I am trying to accomplish. As a hard spanking continues, it actually becomes a little easier to bare as a result of endorphins and adrenaline. My best window of opportunity, to make the best impression that I can, it the very beginning of the spanking. I have certainly said it before, but what parent ever spanked a child lightly at first, in order to make the whole experience easier to tolerate? I do not want this experience to be easy for her to tolerate, I want it to be pure hell from the very first swat. I want there to be regret, remorse, and sadness from the moment it begins as this is how lessons are learned and behavior is modified. I want that internal communication between her bottom and the brain to engage the moment the spanking begins, so she can start making herself promises about her future behavior.
If I am going to take the time to address something with a spanking, then there has to be tears, there is really no way around it. Tears are not just an expression of physical pain; it shows an emotional commitment to the process. It is not only about learning a true lesson, but also about the release of guilt that she may feel as a result of her actions. Pain is indeed one of the most important parts of the process, but tears are equally necessary. Someone that is fighting the tears as hard as they can is showing general defiance to the overall process, and this cannot be allowed to happen. It is not until the tears really start to flow that we know that learning, but more importantly, acceptance is beginning to take place. They are accepting the fact that they have been bad, that they need to be punished, and it allows them to better take responsibility and ownership of the punishment that they have earned. Someone that fights through the tears is showing anger and defiance at the same time, and this is not how a proper lesson is learned.
As I have obviously stated 100’s of times on this blog, just as important as tears during the spanking, is a spanking that leads to soreness. Yes, it is possible to teach a lesson, with a hard spanking that leads to tears, without much long term soreness, but I see it as somewhat contrary to what we are trying to accomplish. Remember, just about every woman who finds herself getting spanked as an adult, has a desire to be spanked. Yes, there are certain fringe sorts of relationships like Christian domestic discipline in which the couple might believe that it is a man’s place to apply physical correction, but that is not a road I travel down. If you are in a relationship with me, that involves physical punishment, it will be because you have a desire to receive physical punishment. Yes, it is going to be far beyond what you ever desire, but you are spanked because of a mutual agreement and understanding that we share. So a spanking that hurts like hell at the time, with no long term soreness, that leads to pleasant feelings afterwards, and a heightened state of sexuality, is not really all that much of a punishment. It might have felt like a punishment for 1-5 minutes, but when all is said and done, there is just a warm glow.
In my eyes, a proper spanking, once complete, will lead to her thinking that maybe it was not as bad as she thought. This false reality will be as a result of the fact that I have spanked, paddled, or strapped her bottom so thoroughly that the endorphins have taken control. In many cases, she will be almost completely numb by the time that I am finished. But this is now the point that real learning begins to take place. 20-30 minutes after the spanking, the endorphins begin to decrease and the awareness of her sore bottom begins. It is really in complete contrast to the actual spanking itself. The spanking started just as hard as it ended, but it became easier to tolerate as the spanking progressed. With her sore bottom, it starts off not so bad, but as time passes, she becomes quite aware of the growing pain, soreness, and general discomfort. It is like a really hard day at the gym. When you walk out the door, you are certainly a little worn down, but you feel a little refreshed and invigorated. But as time passes, your muscles start to communicate with you that they are quite sore.
Quite sore is the desired sensations that I was looking to achieve and as time passes, this soreness grows. Think about how you feel when you get out of bed after a hard leg day at the gym. Your muscles are stiff, they are sore, and when you first swing out of bed they hurt like hell. I know for me, this is not only the case, but the second morning is always the worst part of it. After 48 hours I am still aware of the soreness, but it starts to slowly feel better as time passes. This is my goal with each and every disciplinary spanking that I administer, and I find that a proper spanking tends to follow pretty much the same time line as an intense leg workout. After that first 30 minutes, her bottom starts to present the reality of her situation, and if I did my job well, as every hour passes, her bottom will become sorer. As she sleeps, the muscles in her bottom will tighten up even more, allowing for the next morning to be a perfect opportunity for more learning. This is the joy and benefit of properly punishing a deserving bottom, the learning continues after the spanking is over. Why would I ever want anything less if I am trying to apply real discipline for real offenses? What parent grounds their child for only an hour, when a week is so much more effective?
When I was applying the spanking, we were creating a direct line of communication between her bottom and her brain, and this is a line of communication that is remembered. When she wakes up the next morning and finds that even walking creates discomfort, her brain reminds her why. She is not only remembering the spanking, she is remembering the reason for the spanking. Every time she sits down for a couple of days, her bottom speaks to her brain, which then reminds her to not ever do that again, as neither her bottom or her brain are all that happy with her at the moment. All of this can be traced back to Skinner, who brought about the theories of operant conditioning. Within this theory, he identified two different types of aversive stimuli that can be used as a punishment, positive punishment and negative punishment (which are not to be confused with positive and negative reinforcement, which are used to increase behaviors). With punishment the focus is on reducing or eliminating unwanted behaviors. With spanking we are dealing with positive punishment, or “punishment by application”, which involves presenting aversive stimuli after a behavior has occurred. Researchers have found a number of factors that contribute to how effective a punishment is in different situations. First, punishment is more likely to lead to a reduction in behavior if it immediately follows the behavior. Second, punishment achieves greater results when it is consistently applied.
Compare the effectiveness of consistently applied spankings, every time it is needed, versus a speeding ticket. If someone is speeding, and gets a ticket, they tend to slow down for a little while immediately following the ticket. But over time, they once again increase their speed, until they are back to driving too fast as a norm. But imagine if each and every time they sped, they knew the result would always be a ticket, without fail. If this was the case, everyone would always drive the speed limit as the punishment happens immediately following the behavior and being issued a ticket every time is a consistent punishment. In my spanking relationships, just as with speeding, the rules are clearly defined. There is no doubt that if a particular behavior takes place, that there will be an immediate consequence for that action. Instead of issuing a ticket, I issue a spanking. If a spanking is called for, I am consistent in that each and every time, there will be tears, and there will be a bruised and sore bottom. I do not vary from the rules in any way, act in a manner that we together have decided is inappropriate, and you will be spanked. It does not matter that you were just spanked 10 minutes or 10 hours earlier, as I am consistent with my discipline and each and every time a spanking is called for, it will be administered, once again with you in tears and with a sore bottom.
Comments:I wish I could see one of these spankings.
Previous entry: A public element added to spanking