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Bruised bottom in private and on camera

If you have spent any time at all on this blog you probably know how I feel about a spanking resulting in a sore bottom.  I have found over the years that as a result of my feelings that any spanking should result in a very sore bottom, that people either love the videos I produce or find them far too severe for their tastes.  I understand this, as not everyone engages in spanking activities, as a means of punishment.  For many, spanking is a playful, loving, and highly sexual thing that is often just a fun means of foreplay.  I will not fault anyone for these feelings, as spanking means different things to different people.  But for me, even though there is indeed a sexual element, there is never anything at all sexual about the spankings that I administer on or off camera.

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For me, spankings will always be about punishment and discipline.  The most important parts of the spankings for me is the pain that they feel during the spanking, but even more importantly, the pain that they feel afterwards.  A sore bottom really is the learning tool when it comes to a proper punishment.  When I apply a serious disciplinary spanking in my private life, it rarely lasts more than five minutes.  When we are dealing with serious behavior issues, five minutes is hardly enough time to really teach a proper lesson.  That is why a sore bottom is so very important.  I do not want, after a five minute punishment, for it all to just be over in the mind of the naughty girl.  I want her to have a frequent reminder of her behavior for several days.  The only way to accomplish this is to make sure that she was spanked in a manner that leaves her bruised and sore.

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Many people think that a spanking that creates bruises is abusive.  I would argue that the only way to actually create a change in behavior is to create a very sore bottom. We have to be honest in that a pink bottom does not hurt very much five minutes after the spanking is over.  As someone who has some experience on the receiving end, I can tell you that five minutes after a spanking in which a bottom is only left pink, it kind of feels good.  There is a tingly sensation, which spreads to your naughty regions, and leads to a much heightened sexual state.  Does that sound like an experience that someone learns from?  Of course not! What it does is promote bad behavior so they can feel that wonderful sensation again.  But for many people, spanking is more of a game than an actual disciplinary process.

Within the relationships that I have had, beyond just being someone’s disciplinarian, but actually being in a romantic relationship in which some aspect of domestic discipline was utilized, I think in those cases the young ladies were quite surprised at how it turned out.  They sought me out as I have an online presence and they see me as being able to provide something that they have always been searching for.  A few of those relationships eventually turned romantic, which led to a couple that practice domestic discipline on a regular basis.  I think that in their minds they were going to enter this world in which they were held accountable for their actions and at the same time their spanking fantasies would be fulfilled.  The surprising part for them was how little they were actually spanked.  The reason that there was so little spanking is that when they actually got in trouble, they were not just spanked, they were properly punished. 

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For many, spanking fantasies revolve around getting in trouble, getting lectured, having to bare their bottom, and assuming a position to be spanked.  There is the idea of a strong man, who cares enough to take the time to discipline her, while providing love and comfort at the same time.  Rarely in someone’s fantasies do they process how much potential a spanking has to actually hurt.  Yes, they see themselves crying in these fantasies, but the reality of how that actually comes about is somewhat diluted in their minds.  They might picture a childhood spanking, with a strict but loving father, in which they are over his knee for a couple of minutes warming their bottom.  But these are grown women, with a desire to be spanked, that actually want a realistic punishment that is suitable for the behavior they have engaged in.  The reason that they sought me out in the first place is that I believe in administering a spanking for disciplinary purposes.

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I take this role very seriously and each and every time I give a disciplinary spanking in my private life, it is with the expressed goal and purpose to make her never want to ever feel this again.  This might seem a little counter-intuitive when it comes to a spanking relationship.  For most couples, both parties to a certain degree look forward to the next spanking that is going to take place.  This leads to her getting a little bratty, or making little “mistakes” on purpose, so she can get her bottom warmed.  But I see things much differently.  I am not quick to spank for just any little thing.  There are ample warnings, undesirable behavior is clearly defined, and there is very little room for misinterpreting rules and expectations. But when the time comes, that a spanking is required, it is going to be an event that she does not want repeated anytime soon. 

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The reason it will not be repeated anytime soon is because of where I started this post…pain and long term soreness.  From the very first swat, she is going to not only regret her behavior, she is going to wish that this never happened in the first place.  Her spanking fantasies go right out the window when I begin just as hard as I am going to end.  I am not giving her some sort of silly warm-up, what purpose would that actually serve?  I know that she likes to be spanked on some level, but this is an actual punishment, not role-play, so I am going to punish her.  I am going to do nothing at all to feed her fantasies, instead I am going to provide her bottom with far more pain than she can handle and make her regret the decisions or actions that led her here in the first place.

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I am also going to do this is such a way that when it is over, it is really just beginning.  There will be lots of tears, there will be forgiveness, and I will comfort her when all is said and done.  But I know that if I did my job properly, her lesson is just starting.  I cared enough to make sure that her bottom was black and blue when I was done.  Remember, this is not role playing, this is not foreplay, this is real life discipline for real offenses.  These are offenses that we agreed she should be disciplined for.  The purpose of this discipline was to decrease or eliminate this behavior all together.  If I have just provided her with a spanking that she would want to receive again because it was sexy or made her all wet, then I failed.  One of the ways I make sure that I achieve success in this area is to make sure her bottom not only hurts when she sits, but is unbearable.  I want every second of the next few days to be all about her sore bottom.  I do not want her to be able to put it in the back of her mind and dismiss it.  Every time she takes a step, tries to sit, or even lay in bed at night, I want her focus to be on her sore bottom.  More importantly, as she sits on a hard wooden chair the next day, and her eyes fill with tears again, I want her focus to be on why her bottom is that sore.  Many may call it cruel, mean, or even abusive, I prefer to call it learning, an appropriate lesson, and progress.

I take the time to do the job properly, in a manner designed to achieve results.  I was not fulfilling her spanking fantasy; I was providing much needed discipline.  You would be very surprised at how well this actually works.  Yes, I am talking about a relationship that was formed as a result of a mutual desire/need for spanking, a woman who actively sought me out as a result of the type of spankings that I can provide.  But the reality of it all, once she found herself receiving a very real spanking, she was in no hurry to repeat it.  Certainly behavior is as good as it gets for several days after her last spanking.  My policy is that no previous spanking will affect the next one, only behavior influences when a spanking takes place.  When it is almost too painful to sit, behavior becomes perfect for fear of what my paddle would feel like on that sore of a bottom.  The progress really is made as a result of the sore bottom.  There might be parts of the spanking that feed the very core of her fantasies, but spending days with a completely bruised bottom is not fun or sexy at all. More importantly, she will go out of her way to make sure that she does not feel that way anytime soon.  So there have been many young ladies that have come to me to fulfill all of their spanking fantasies, only to realize that they would rather behave and work on achieving goals in their lives.  Their lives become a big contradiction as they fantasize about nothing more than being spanked, yet they rise to the occasion to make sure they do not end up having their bottoms bruised.

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While the models in my videos, for the most part, have not done anything to earn a proper punishment spanking, it is still what they are signing up for.  The whole concept of my sites was to present spanking as it actually exists in the real world for discipline.  This basically leaves us with parental spanking, school corporal punishment, judicial punishment, and to a lesser extent domestic discipline.  In all of these instances, spanking is used as a punishment.  There are no warm-ups in parental spankings or school corporal punishment, and that certainly is also not the case with judicial punishment.  The goal of all of those spanking is to tear up the offender’s butt in such a way that they will no longer act that way.  This is what I try to provide in my videos.  Yes, concessions have to be made to account for the fact that this is a paid model, with very real limits.  She has not actually done anything wrong and does not fully deserve what she is about to receive.  But I believe very strongly that a real and proper spanking ends with a bruised and sore bottom.

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My videos have achieved a lot of popularity as a result of the fact that the spankings are administered in a realistic manner. They in no way compare to the type of discipline I administer in private, but I do the best I can while still trying respect our model’s limits.  This is not to say that limits are not pushed and expanded, as every model eventually ends up taking some pretty serious spankings.  Many are quite surprised at how far they were really able to come.  Because I feel so strongly that a real spanking results in a very sore bottom, that is the reality of our videos.  It might happen over the course of a few different spankings scenes in one afternoon, but when all is said and done, these young ladies leave sitting gingerly for a few days.  The whole point is that the spankings are very real and very real spankings result in bruised bottoms.  Many models show up in skin tight jeans, but have learned over time to have a nice pair of baggy sweatpants to change into when they leave, as their sore and swollen bottoms no longer want to squeeze into those tight pants.

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I often follow up with our models, especially after a fairly intense scene, and there is no doubt that these spankings results in long term discomfort.  On the average, most models still display the results of their spanking for at least three days. Pretty much every shoot now includes a school paddling scene, which always leaves fairly long lasting bruises.  It seems pretty typical that their bottoms are sore enough that sitting hurts the next day. We are not talking the same amount of discomfort as a private spanking with me, but they are certainly more than aware of their previous spanking.  I have had models in the past; take the next day off from their desk jobs as they knew that eight hours in a chair was not an option for them at the moment.  There is one current model, who has a very professional job, and I know she gets off on “her little secret”.  She just loves the fact that she is sitting there, in a professional work environment, barely able to hold still because her butt is so sore.  She loves that her bottom is black and blue and that only she knows.  She has told me that she checks her bottom each and every time she uses the bathroom at work, and just loves the marks.  Now, if I was only single, I could actually give her the real spanking that she deserves, one that makes it difficult to sit on at work, but it would be one that she would never again want to have repeated.

All animations used in this post come from scenes filmed in our new studio, in 2015, from the member’s area of Realspanking.com.


Posted by Michael Masterson on 07/17 at 05:16 PM

Comments:

I'm glad you mentioned the contradiction, because it looms large for me.

To be clear, I appreciate and enjoy your videos. I enjoy fantasies of discipline-intensity spanking -- spanking at a level the recipient would never want -- whether they're in my mind, on a page, or enacted in stills or videos. I'm glad there are models willing to endure spanking at that level (in return for being well paid) for my entertainment.

And I enjoy consensual, mutually enjoyable spanking in my own life, with or without role playing that it's non-consensual or the recipient doesn't enjoy it.

What confuses me is the real-life situation you describe so clearly. Anyone who seeks out spanking discipline must be attracted by spanking to begin with. But your job is to give her a spanking she doesn't want. And what she's consenting to is to receive spanking, which in general she wants, but in a manner that she will not want.

Is that a sensible way to approach discipline? I like chocolate. If I wanted to change my behavior, would it be sensible to ask someone to shove so much chocolate in my mouth that it made me choke or vomit, or to feed me chocolate laced with a drug that would make me violently sick? Why should I want to associate something I like with something so unpleasant that I would change an established behavior to avoid it? Would it decrease my desire for chocolate in non-discipline situations, or make me suspicious of every piece of chocolate I saw?

I guess this is merely a specific case of the general phenomenon of "I just don't 'get' DD" which is fairly widespread within the kink. I can't see past the contradiction; I don't see how it gets resolved.

However, I'm glad it works for the women to whom you give discipline.
Posted by  on  07/18  at  08:17 AM | #
Michael,
I thank God you are here and posting exactly what is in my brain. We are on the very same wavelength as far as spankings and the pain created during and after them. I also thank God that I have a spanking friend, not my wife sadly but that's a different story, who needs and accepts such sessions.
I also use "non-spanking" pain enhancement but that might be out of your wheelhouse.
Best to you in all you do,
George
PS...we are friends on ipunishment and fetlife also.
Posted by  on  07/18  at  10:37 AM | #

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